Dear Annie: My wife and I have been very blessed. We both were able to find and keep jobs in our chosen fields and worked through the years without any layoffs, slowdowns, serious illnesses, etc. We made good middle-income wages, and we always lived within our means while saving for retirement. We made some good investments along the way, and were able to retire at age 60.

On the other hand, my brother and his wife switched jobs often and lived a life of “keeping up with the Jones.” They always complained about not having enough money but then would go out and borrow money for a new car or to take a vacation. That was all none of our business, but we did worry about them.

Now that they are retired, they are finding that living the high life is more difficult, but the spending continues, along with increased complaints. My wife received a lot of guilt from them when we recently took a trip to Europe for our anniversary. Then we began to get comments like, “We wish we could do that,” or, “It must be nice.” And we have heard from a mutual friend that my brother frequently makes remarks about our lifestyle. Keep in mind that we are still living within our means, but our savings and investing habits over the years have put us in a position to have some fun.

Recently, we purchased a vacation home in a warmer climate. That’s when all hell broke loose with my brother, as he accused us of trying to show off for our friends or just working to make them look bad. We haven’t argued about this, but it is getting harder and harder to listen to him go on about this, when we really don’t think we should have to alter our life just to keep him off our back. My sister-in-law doesn’t say much, but we’ve heard that she talks to other family members about this.

On one hand, I think that our finances are none of their business, but then the remarks have gotten so frequent that when we are talking about a trip or going to the vacation home, we catch ourselves asking each other if we should keep these things a secret from my brother and sister-in-law so we don’t have to put up with the snide remarks. It’s not that we boast about things we do, but we do think it important to let our family members know when we will be traveling in case there is some type of family emergency.

I don’t want to cause a rift in the family, but I would like to put a stop to this. I have talked with my brother about how his remarks make me feel, and he apologizes and then continues with his old behaviors. It has gotten so bad at times that we have thought of moving permanently to the vacation home just to be out of the reach of their comments. Any ideas for solving this situation? — Tired of The Guilt Trips

Dear Tired: The key to your problem here might be as simple as managing expectations. You know already that your brother and his wife are jealous and resentful when it comes to finances, so you can expect some bad-mouthing. But so what? It’s an expression of his regrets, not of your faults. Plus, his slander will be easy for other family members and mutual friends to see right through.

If you care about improving your relationship with him, you might consider inviting him to join you and your wife on one of your lovely vacations. After all, what’s the point of having money if we can’t use it on our loved ones, too?

Dear Annie: I am a college student, and I just finished my finals for the fall semester and am now on winter break. Right toward the end of finals week, one of my professors had a medical emergency and had to miss our final day for surgery. My entire class sent her supportive emails, including me, but I find myself still worrying about her. She’s a wonderful professor and person, and she’s so passionate about the material she teaches. She’s everything I love in a professor, and just knowing that she’s suffering worries me.

I don’t know if I’d be overstepping boundaries to send her more emails letting her know I’m thinking of her, especially since she’ll be unable to look at a screen for at least a few weeks due to the nature of her surgery. What else can I do to show her support? Leave her alone? Should I send another email in another month or so when she’s recovered somewhat? Should I bring her a gift at the start of spring semester, since I have another class with her? I really want to do something, I just don’t know what. — Concerned (Overstepping?) Student

Dear Concerned Student: Your empathy says a lot about you! And you’re right that great professors are a gift that can’t be taken for granted.

Since you’ve already sent a thoughtful email, I would wait until the spring semester to reach out again. Recovering from surgery can be overwhelming, and she might feel pressured to respond to all the messages she’s receiving. Come spring, bringing her something like flowers or a handwritten card would be appropriate, and she will be in a better place to receive it.

Dear Annie: My nephew has lived with us since he was 16 years old, after my brother threw him out of his house. My brother then called me to see if he could stay with us. My sister and I accepted him into our home.

He is now 35 and still lives with us. My sister and I agree he has changed for the worse. He has expressed to us he wished we were dead by now. The other day, my sister and I went out, and our nephew closed the outside gates of our home. We couldn’t get back in because of this. I had to climb a wall in my backyard and then jump over to open the gate and get into our house. I am 65, and my sister is 59.

He has gotten to be very offensive with both of us. We’ve had to lock our cats in our bedrooms because he wants to throw them out of the house (he’s done this with one of my sister’s cats before).

We’ve called the police twice, but they say they can’t do anything because he hasn’t touched us. We are afraid, and we want him out. He doesn’t work, help around the house or pay rent, either. What can we do? — Desperate Sisters

Dear Desperate Sisters: Your nephew is extremely fortunate to have had you and your sister to care for him when his own father wasn’t willing to. But you’ve both done everything you can to support him. It’s time to focus on your own happiness and, most importantly, your safety.

With your nephew unwilling to leave the house on his own, you’ll likely need to take legal action. Eviction laws vary based on the state you live in, so your best bet is to consult a lawyer to figure out how to proceed, especially since you said your nephew isn’t paying rent. Continue what you’ve been doing in terms of keeping your personal possessions and your animals safe from him. If his behavior escalates before you’re able to remove him from the house, don’t be afraid to call the police or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

Dear Annie: I have been cheated on in several relationships. I didn’t experience much romance in high school and decided to officially date when I entered university. But my first ever relationship was absolutely toxic, and my ex was a flirt. I eventually broke up with him.

My most recent relationship was even worse. We had a fight, and he ghosted me. Then he decided to date a family friend who was a minor and he’s an adult. I feel scared that I only attract trashy men. I worry I’m doing too much or not doing enough to get good guys.

Recently, I finally mustered up the courage to talk to a crush of mine. He’s the first guy I’ve fallen so deeply for after my last relationship, but I worry he’ll be like the others. What should I do? Or what am I doing wrong that keeps attracting these trashy two-faced men? Thank you. — Am I a Jerk Magnet?

Dear Jerk Magnet: It’s certainly not your fault that your past partners have treated you poorly. What is in your control is deciding what you will and will not stand for in your next relationship and sticking to your boundaries once you’ve made them. Infidelity and ghosting, as you’ve mentioned, are both hurtful and absolutely non-negotiables. If you see these red flags in a future romantic partner, run, don’t walk, away from them. You deserve so much more than that kind of treatment.

As for your new crush, try not to project these past hurts and fears onto him. Take things slowly and enjoy getting to know each other, building a strong foundation for a potential relationship.

EDITOR’S NOTE: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.