Dear Annie: Several years ago, my wife suffered a stroke. As part of her recovery, her doctor recommended a video game to help improve her hand-eye coordination. At first, it seemed like a great idea; it gave her a sense of accomplishment and helped in her healing. But over time, this once-helpful activity has grown into a serious phone addiction.

She now spends close to eight hours a day on her phone, playing games and scrolling endlessly. She eats her meals with the phone right in front of her, hardly noticing me or anything else around her. I try to engage her in conversation, but it’s as if I don’t exist. She no longer contributes to any household chores, cooking or activities. Most days, she just sits in the kitchen watching TV with her phone in hand, totally immersed in her games.

What’s even harder to deal with is that she’s using her phone to text family members, expressing how unhappy she is and implying that I’m somehow to blame. Now her relatives are rallying against me, believing her portrayal of our situation without knowing the full story.

I’m at my wits’ end. I want to support her recovery, but her phone has taken over our lives, and it feels like I’m losing my partner to a screen. I’m genuinely considering shutting down her phone as a last resort. What should I do? — At My Wits’ End

Dear Wits’ End: First off, I am very sorry that your wife suffered a stroke. It must have been incredibly scary and challenging for both of you. Now that she is in the healing process, it seems she has become addicted to a video game on her screen. She’s not alone in this; it’s well-known that video game designers often make these games intentionally addictive to keep people playing.

Try to channel your understandable anger and frustration into a constructive solution to help your wife break this habit. Have an open conversation with her. She might not even be fully aware of how much time she’s spending on the game. Limit her time that she spends gaming, and call her doctor to ask for more healthy pastimes to reduce stress and help her recover from her stroke.

Dear Readers: As we prepare for another holiday season, all kinds of emotions and feelings rise to the surface for all of us — some of joy and excitement and some of disappointment or sadness. This is one of my favorite poems when it comes to feelings. I hope you enjoy it.

“The Guest House” by Rumi

“This being human is a guest house.

as a guide from beyond.”

Dear Annie: Your column from “Blessings,” who was managing a difficult relationship with a daughter-in-law, could have been written by me, but from the other side. I’m the spouse who married into the family in this situation.

I have never forbidden my spouse from seeing their family. I have declined to spend more than the time it takes to have a meal with them but have offered to go back to a hotel or coffeeshop if they want to continue spending time with their family. I have also suggested that they go for a weekend without me.

What changed was not my making an ultimatum; things changed because my spouse went to therapy. They began to make healthy boundaries in their life and in the life of our family. Their family (my mother-in-law and brother-in-law in particular) have been quite displeased with this; hence, the low-contact situation.

They are displeased because of their narcissism and borderline personality disorder — at least, that’s how we treat the situation after much time in conversation with both my spouse’s therapist and our marriage counselor. Our healthy boundaries protect us and our child.

Their refusal to even acknowledge the boundaries and then lay blame at MY feet when they don’t get the access they want is causing my spouse to pull away from them even more. Please encourage the letter writer to seek counseling; they may find some peace from seeing things differently or get some suggestions on how to better interact with their daughter-in-law. — Been There, Living That

Dear Been There, Living That: Thank you for sharing how you and your spouse have set healthy boundaries with your in-laws as a result of therapy and marriage counseling. It would be helpful if your spouse were to tell their mother and brother of these boundaries, and not you, so they will stop singling you out as the problem. Perhaps, in time, they will come around and respect the boundaries that you and your spouse have set.

EDITOR’S NOTE: “Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.